All of my life I have been thin with exception of when I exited the womb. I was over 10 lbs, then. (See image below).
Nevertheless I stretched out and have been thin since a toddler. Quite thin. When I was in elementary school, I weighed 57 lbs and was in the average height category. (Top)
In middle school, less than 100 lbs. At 5’6″in high school, I weighed 105-110 lbs.
Now, at almost 24, I am 110-115 lbs and still at about 5’6″.
Close friends and family pointed “it” out quite a bit. They would say anything from “Eat a cheeseburger” upon meeting to “You would look good in a potato sack”. I’ve been told to be a model and told to gain weight as men like “a woman with meat on her bones”. Contradicting statements from people who are closest to me. Which do you believe as a blossoming young woman?
Honestly, I like being skinny. I enjoy my body and it’s flaws. What is sad, is when jealous people who are NOT happy with their bodies deem is necessary to make negative comments to me. Mainly from people I do not know. I am NOT sick. I am NOT trying to be anything other than who I was born to be: thin. I accept this fact through pushing through poor minded individuals and embracing my size.
The general population is fixated on trying to lose ten pounds, eat cleaner, or go to the gym more often. In their eyes, I tend to look like someone who took those simple ideas overboard, or that I am insecure and desire the “preferred body type”. Not the case. If anything, I have desired a balance of choices that make me happy, not skinny.
On average , I would say that I do eat healthy. I take many vitamins, eat whole grains, lean cuts of meat and adapt to a variety of “good for you” foods. (Even if it means eating something I’d rather not eat.) My husband will eat just about anything which gives me the freedom to choose what I like. Is eating relatively healthy wrong? I don’t think so. I’m a strong believer in eating small portions, many times a day. Does eating what I eat make me body-conscious? No. That makes me health-conscious.
Average day’s worth of food for me:
- One Banana
- One packet of Oatmeal (Typically Apples & Cinnamon)
- One 100g yogurt pack
- One box of organic raisins
- One Nutri-gran bar (If I don’t eat oatmeal)
One of the following meals
- Whole wheat pesto penne with mushrooms, broccoli florets, corn, fresh garlic and chicken breast pieces. Almond Milk to drink
- Whole wheat noodles with mushrooms, red pepper, onion, tomato sauce and extra lean ground beef. Almond Milk to drink.
- Chicken stir fry: Chicken, basil, ginger, mushrooms, onion, carrots, broccoli florets, corn, asparagus, red peppers and yellow peppers, over rice with lite soy sauce. Quinoa/ blueberry/raspberry smoothie to drink.
- Cucumber slices (Snack size bag)
- Carrot sticks (Snack size bag)
- Trail mix (Brazil nuts, peanuts, walnuts, cashews & raisins)
- Peanut butter with apple slices or two clementines
- Peanut butter & chocolate granola bar
One of the following meals
- Lemon Garlic Chicken, Carrots and Corn, baked spicy potato wedges. Water to drink.
- Whole wheat spaghetti with Mushrooms, red peppers, onion, garlic and whole wheat garlic bread. Almond Milk to drink
- Spinach, chicken, Mushroom, Bacon and bechamel sauce pizza
Dessert (I rarely eat dessert):
One of the following choices
- Strawberry frozen yogurt and walnut pieces
- small bowl of walnut pieces only
- Apple slices and peanut butter
- small bowl of rice chips
- 1 cup of a fruit smoothie
Is that too healthy? Is that too unhealthy? I am not 100% certain. BUT, does my diet make me feel energized? Yes. Am I regretful? Not really.
I believe we should learn to embrace our bodies, not be ashamed. Last year, I met a pretty girl who was ashamed of the size of her thighs, so all she wore were dresses/ skirts to cover them up. Her insecurity was obvious and I felt bad for her poor self esteem. She even talked about it in our group of friends about her struggles with self image and “oddities”. Thankfully, she seemed to embrace her body more, but months went by before I ever saw this person in pants without covering her thighs up. Every individual has their own “problem area” that they believe, if changed, would provide more self-confidence. Why not love the skin/size/ shape you were given?
As we struggle with loving our bodies and pushing out insecurity, we are reminded of things people have said to/about us. I will never forget asking my mom to join a gym at 16 so I could gain muscle mass. At that time my main meals were blueberry muffins from the High School Cafeteria for breakfast, whichever fast food establishment I chose for lunch and Mr. Noodles for supper. It was “assumed” that I wanted to lose weight and I was ridiculed for wanting to do so. No child should be deprived of exercise or healthy eating. Another good example of strong negativity was when I was trying on my wedding dress; I was compared to a starving African. A time in a woman’s life where they are supposed to feel their most beautiful, I was subjected to negative criticism.
Thankfully, the good news is that no matter how much of the negativity is thrown at us… we can overcome the evil that is a poor self-image. We cannot keep people from talking or having an opinion, but we can change how much of that content we hold on to. Poor thoughts can be toxic if left alone to stew. Holding onto hurtful words about a part of your body (or anything really) can turn into a life long struggle of insecurity. God made us all beautiful.
Make today YOUR day to say
“I love how I loo and I dictate my view of my body. I am beautiful everyday”.
Sometimes it is not easy to feel gorgeous in our skin when the beauty/fashion industry sets standards and guidelines. I will be the first to admit… buying clothes is not easy when you are thin. Almost as hard as when you’re large. When XXS does NOT fit, where do you turn? The choice between looking like a stick wearing a sheet or looking juvenile is daunting.
Having a flattering fit is, really, all that matters to me. No matter the size, if something fits… you can move in it. Your clothing should also show what you look like. If you’re constantly tugging, pulling at an article, probably not the best fit. If you feel uncomfortable in what you wear, then maybe it’s not the best choice.
To summarize, being skinny is glamorous in the magazines, but even having “the shape”, does not represent perfection. This does not mean you will not receive dirty looks or mean comments… nobody is perfect. Everyone receives criticism at some point in their life.
Every size is beautiful in its own way . Being skinny is just “a size”, not “the size”.