Struggles that I identify with as an INTJ
Taken from: Struggles INTJs can understand
- INTJs have an overwhelming need to be by themself. They would be happy on an island where they can think all day. And that island would be structured perfectly. Neatly. During all the hours of the day. And everyone goes to bed at a reasonable time. You can study all you want, not be bothered, and can finally focus on your favorite ideas. An INTJ could live on an island with all the other INTJ personalities and never interact with them… and most likely be very content. All problems seem solved, humanity is at status quo… all good, right?
- She has confusion as to why people cannot see the most logical solution… immediately. Then she will have to communicate the logical prowess from her brain out her mouth. Which works, of course, but can be a bit blunt if not careful. INTJs talk with their logical brain, and complain in their head with their emotions.
- Being a bit too systematic to the point where creativity is lost. Then they will force spontaneous creativity which may be hard to follow. Or glitchy. (Personal note: Situations like these cause me to strive to be better at a craft I am currently working on… which is a good thing, right? Learning to slow down when a spark of creativity comes helps.)
- Feeling a strong need to only be with the same kinds of people. But also… to live together on an island where no one has to talk to one another. (Personal note: THIS IS 100% ME.)
- Feeling left out in group settings, but unable to fully express why… They may want to be left out. They are not sure how to express your feelings because they are abstract and not necessarily understood by others. There is a genuine complex in having logic easily come out, emotions rush out, and getting people who are less equipped for thought on the same page, if there is a same page.
- Weird moments of performance ability that no one was expecting. Wait, a minute… you can be an actor? You do poetry? What is this painting? There are sides to you… that we were not expecting. Like when my friend suddenly decided to dress up like a mountain. Why? (Personal note: I like when this happens; keeps people on their toes.)
- Feeling as though you could be king of your domain, but are too into solving problems for the greater good that you come off more like a chancellor or wizard-hermit. But you wouldn’t mind having a wizard-hermit hat. (Personal note: Where is MY hat? LOL.)
- A love for ideas that can often be difficult to match. You could sit and think about things for an entire day. You could sit and recite speeches in the bathroom and no one would know it. People often miss out on the full, beautiful picture that you are.
- You want people to make their own decisions, but sometimes you do not like their decisions. You would prefer they listen to you and follow through with it, but you don’t want to be a butt about it. You just think they are going about it the wrong way. (Personal note: I know I am not perfect, but it does aggravate me to no end when people do not take good advice. Or people who are not teachable. Don’t stick your nose so far up in the air. Who cares that you have taken lessons in a certain area for years? There is always room for improvement.)
- Sudden moments of disengaging from group activities to go on walks of your own… which confuses people more than you’d like. (Personal note: I do this in the right situation, around the right people.)
- Having strange interests in things that others do not quite understand. Or connect with. Niche interests. Collecting stamps and learning spells from ancient Norwegian books. (Personal note: My interest in documentaries about kidnappings, people with oddities, etc… does not come up in conversation often for good reason.)
- They sometimes tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional need,.
- Intuition that is lightning speed fast and addictive… but can leave you feeling empty-handed or excessively stubborn.
- Have no patience with inefficiency and confusion.
BONUS: How to be friends with me! (As odd as I can be).
How to Be a Good Friend to an INTJ
- Keep things clean. Dirty dishes? Do them. Period.
- Be concise. Don’t go into the depths of nothing for no reason.
- It’s normal if they go on long walks and bike rides. Don’t harass them about this too much or they’ll draw into it more.
- Play to their interests and hobbies. They like talking about that. It’s a great way to bond with them.
- Kill all stupidities you have. Or hide them… but they’ll find your stupidities. (It is true.)
- Tell them you appreciate them. (Do this insincerely and “yur done, bud”.)
- Keep things somewhat logical and orderly.
- Trust them when you can… do not be afraid to not trust them either.
- Be honest. Don’t lie. They’re a powerhouse of upset when you lie.
- Let them solve problems.
- Do what you can to help them bring out their emotional reasoning. Because for many, they don’t have that down to a fine art just yet. (Yes, I enjoy this… do more of this, future friends.)
- They are fans of acts of service. Do something good. Help them to believe in humanity again.
- Let them be a villain for a little while. It might be more of a fantasy of theirs than you think. (Muahahaha.)
- Plan ahead. Going on a date? Make plans. Impress them with how you can make plans. (I will be impressed.)
- Let them lead. (You will not be disappointed).
Hope you were enlightened with this information!